Just for today, give thankfulness a try

If you're in the middle of a long and difficult job search, or if you're hanging on to a job you hate, it's hard to want to be thankful.

Try it anyway, just for today.

One of the paths to thankfulness is empathy. Try this on:

• Your boss is the biggest jerk you've ever met. There's a saying among my HR pals: People never leave jobs; they leave supervisors. Know that you have plenty of company. Know that many supervisors and managers have never been trained for that role. They were simply the best (or worst) at their last job, so someone in their great wisdom made them a manager. They may be at least as frustrated as you are.  Just for today, decide that you aren't the victim, but they are.

Try thinking about what you'd be thankful for if this awful thing hadn't happened:

• You were laid off six months ago, and you've been looking for a job ever since. I mean really looking. Your family is depending on you; your mortgage is depending on you; your retirement is depending on you. This is the most stress you've ever felt, and it's feeling heavier every day. Just for today, think of something other than your anxiety and responsibilities. If you are able to enjoy a nice meal with loved ones, feel the joy they bring. If you are healthy enough to go outside and throw a football around, feel your body move and your breath fill you with life. If you still have your home, notice how it surrounds you with warmth and safety.
  

Try being thankful for the good things that will happen soon:

• Every cycle has a beginning and end. A project has a lifecycle. Good things end. Bad things end. Just for today, think ahead to the way your life will be when this crisis has ended. Leave the worries behind, just for today. Think about the new job you will have and how it will feel to shake your new employer's hand as you accept their generous offer. Imagine your excitement as you walk to your desk on your first day. Think of your thankfulness when you start your first project. Spend a day there instead of worrying about what isn't happening.
  

All of these are steps along the way to gratitude, which is different from thankfulness, my friend and transformational consultant Jodee Bock said yesterday. She is absolutely right. Thankfulness is a response to a specific event. I am thankful that my pecan pie turned out. I am thankful that my husband vacuumed and dusted yesterday.

Gratitude, on the other hand, is the state of being. If I live in gratitude, my life looks and feels different. When I look for things to be thankful for, I begin to feel constant gratitude. When I am grateful, my life attracts more good for which to be thankful. Look at that, another cycle.

Happy Thanksgiving.