Women bullying Women

By MICKEY MEECE
New York Times

Published: May 9, 2009

Yelling, scheming and sabotaging: all are tell-tale signs that a bully is at work, laying traps for employees at every pass.

Peter DaSilva for The New York Times

Kent Kaufman and Laura Stek, right,
of the Growth and Leadership Center,
coach Cleo Lepori-Costello, left,
a vice president at a Silicon Valley
software company,
on communication skills.

During this downturn, as stress levels rise, workplace researchers say, bullies are likely to sharpen their elbows and ratchet up their attacks.

It’s probably no surprise that most of these bullies are men, as a survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute, an advocacy group, makes clear. But a good 40 percent of bullies are women. And at least the male bullies take an egalitarian approach, mowing down men and women pretty much in equal measure. The women appear to prefer their own kind, choosing other women as targets more than 70 percent of the time.

In the name of Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem, what is going on here?

Read full article.

What to do when nothing works

I just received an email from a client who has been job hunting for about a month and has made about 100 applications for jobs in another state. He's doing everything right. He's networking; he's narrowing his search and contacting companies of his choice to talk about how he might fit into their plans; he holds an excellent interview and has boatloads of confidence. He's an absolutely wonderful find for anyone in his industry.

So, what's going wrong? He's being turned down for positions he qualifies for, and even some he over-qualifies for.

Here are my recommendations:

1. Work more through your contacts: When you ask someone to recommend you, don't stop with a good word or a letter of endorsement. Ask them to put you in contact with someone they actually know at the company.

2. Give first: The heart of networking is its mutuality. When you contact people, ask what you can do to help them. Be ready to give and give first. Yes, you are looking for a job, but you are also and foremost looking to fill a need. This attitude alone can put you at the top of an employer's list.

3. Be persistent: If one thing with that person doesn't work out, ask them about other opportunities in their department, other departments, and other companies.

4. Recheck your list: Who have you thought of contacting that you haven't contacted yet? We often forget to make a contact or leave one out because it's a little uncomfortable. Find another way to make the contact that's more comfortable.

5. Maintain contacts you have: It's best if you've maintained communications with everyone you've ever met throughout the years, but few of us are that good. So, forgive yourself for not being an ubernetworker and start contacting people.

6. Do it again: Recontact the people you've called already and see if anything has turned up since you talked with them.

7. Develop more contacts. This is especially difficult with a long-distance job search, but there are ways around it. Go through your address book. I have relatives or friends in nearly every state. You probably do, too. In most cases, people will welcome the opportunity to help you.

8. Work your online social networks: Do more with contacting people through Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. There are usually groups you can find on Facebook, for example, that allow you to learn more about people there and perhaps find a friend or friend of a friend who can put you in direct contact with the right person. If you don't know much about these networks, read Jason Alba's book, I'm on LinkedIn, Now What?

9. Take off! Plan a trip to your target city to follow up with people face to face.

10. Get a pep talk: Find at least one person who encourages you, whether it is your career coach, your spouse, your best friend, or a job club.

When you're done with step 10, start over at step 1. This is the most sure-fire way to land a job in this economy or any other. Talk with your people, and make more people your people.